15 July 2009

A Phrasebook I Hope I'll Never Use

I'm getting ready to take a short trip to Vietnam. Andy and I will be spending a few days in Ho Chi Minh City (still called Saigon by the locals). So in addition to a couple of guidebooks, I picked up an app for my iPhone that teaches some travel-oriented Vietnamese words and phrases.

It's a great little app in that it not only has the written translations, but when you tap on the word or phrase, a recorded voice reads it out loud. This feature is essential because Vietnamese is also a tonal language, and since I'm not familiar with Vietnamese accent marks, I need some audio to be sure I'll be saying the words correctly. Or, perhaps I can just hold up my iPhone and let it speak for me!

I'm a bit worried, however, because among the usual travel phrases such as "Have you a room?", "Please say that slowly," and "Too expensive!", I found the following:

I'm not surprised by "Police" or "Stop thief!", but I was definitely startled to see "Don't shoot!" and "Those drugs aren't mine!"

These two phrases are demonstrated in a surreal little recorded dialogue that's included with the app. It takes place between an Australian tourist named Scott and a silk salesman named Anh, as follows:
Scott: Can you translate two last things for me? They're gonna sound a little strange, but you just never know what situation you're gonna be in. The first is, "Stop thief!", and the last thing I think I'll need is, "Don't shoot, those drugs aren't mine!"

Anh: [laughing] You're a funny man, Scott. I'm not sure what you are planning, but I do hope you will never need these phrases. [Provides translation.]

Scott: Anh, thank you very much. You've been most helpful. I'm off to try some pho.
These phrases bring to mind some interesting scenarios, but none of them involve anything as banal as this lighthearted conversation between a local and a tourist! In fact, the scenarios I'm thinking of are actually downright frightening. I hope I'll never have to use this part of my language guide.